Saturday, June 13, 2009

Breath of Heaven


We have been going non-stop for the last few days. Kristin's parents are here and we have been packing in the memories. Here's a little run-down of our yesterday:

1. Shuttle pick-up at 8:30am.
2. Drive to Chimaltenango, about 45 minutes away to visit Los Gozosos again.
3. Leave Los Gozosos around 11am and start driving toward Chi-Chi.
4. 2.5 hours later, arrive in Chi-Chi and walk around the market for about two hours.
5. Drive to Panajacel (about an hour) and have dinner there on the banks of Lake Atitlan.
6. 7.30pm, start driving back to Antigua, a 3 hour drive that we made in 2 hours. We got home at 9:30pm.

All in all, a good 10 hour day.

You may remember we visited Los Gozosos last week with the Goodfellows. While we were there, I connected with a little boy named Andres. Kristin joked in a previous blog about how I was scheming a way to take him with us.

That really wasn't a joke.

Sure the comment was framed with laughter, but it was one of those moments where you realize that the other person who made the remark, really is not joking and you just look at each other like, "are you serious?!?....you're serious aren't you?!?...Oh my goodness, he's serious?!?!?!?". Yes, that kind of moment.

When we arrived, I went straight to Andres' bed and picked him up. I held this little boy the whole time we were there yesterday. The whole time. I laughed and cried. I prayed and hoped. He had a distinct, yet familiar smell that I remembered from our earlier visit. You know those new baby smells? By the end of our time, which felt so brief, Andres was nearly asleep in my arms. And like most babies do (he's actually 4 years old), he was fighting the sleep. So I held him closer and he buried his face into my chest and "rooted around", still fighting sleep. I just held on.

As we got into the van, I noticed the smell of breath. And all I can explain is to say, it was that child's breath. It's not really a stinch, but for me it's not the most pleasant thing. Well, I felt like I was covered in it. You see, where Andres had been "rooting around" on my chest, he had left an aroma of child's breath from my left shoulder, to my right. At first, I tried to wash it away with some water, then I tried some of that alcohol hand wash stuff that had an Apple scent. Still no luck. I could not escape the smell.

As the day went on, I really missed Andres. Everytime I looked to my left or right, he was there with me. If I lowered my head to nap, he was there. Even now, a day, a shower, and different clothes later, I can still smell this precious boy.

I miss him.

I am lonely for him.

My heart longs to hold him again.


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